Reflection on Priestly Ordination and First Mass

Receiving the gift of ordination is unlike anything I have experienced ever. It is something for which words are not available to fully describe. The whole experience is overwhelming, but not in the sense of tiresome or burdensome; more in the sense of being caught up in a whirlwind or a current of water, and feeling overcome with a sense of joy, peace, ecstasy and euphoria all at the same time. Celebrating my First Masses of Thanksgiving, I was still in the process of being “spirited”, and getting a foothold on being a priest: being able to celebrate Mass, to consecrate. The moment when I was truly overcome with the emotions and gratitude of what an immense grace I had received was the following Monday after ordination. I was asked to celebrate Monday Mass. The school children were there. At the first elevation, when the altar servers rang the bells, I was overcome with an indescribable feeling of all that I have said and a sense of nothingness; as in being not me, but a part of something that was not really me, but it was me at the same time. And then being asked to hear confessions that day and the following day at the Cathedral... that feeling of nothingness came over me again, and I felt as if I was one with the plan of God. I felt as if the only thing that mattered was Christ’s wanting people to know that mercy is an endless ocean free for all who want it and seek it, and that there are no conditions for Jesus giving His mercy to us all.